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FROM THE EDITOR
Is it my Birthday?
by Michelle Konieczny
(Written July 2000; originally published on Themestream.com)
According to the Adoption laws in Illinois in 1972, when I was adopted, my birthdate was allowed to be changed upon request of my adoptive parents. Also according to the law all information arising from my placement for adoption; all files all documentation, was impounded upon finalization of my adoption. The details contained within these files forever kept from my eyes even though I am the person the information is about. Unless I am able to obtain a court orde r I will never be allowed to access those files. An Amended Birth Certificate was issued, and on it was listed my new name, my new parents' names, possibly a different date and/or place of birth, and even still, there is no evidence that any change was ever made or that an adoption had even occurred.
These laws and several others, are the reason that I sit here on my Birthday, wondering, "is this real anniversary of my birth?" Or, is it just one more part of the secrets and lies that float around the questi on I occasionally ask of myself; the one all of us entertain from one time to another; the question to which there are so many different answers; "Who am I?"
Some will answer the question, when talking to an adoptee, much like Denver Rocky Mountain News Columnist and Talk Show host Mike Rosen stated. That the answer to that lies in who we are today; not who we were when we were a few days old. Of course, I know the answers when I ask that of myself. I am the mother of four beautiful daughters. I am the wife of a wonderful husband and father. I am a devoted Homeschool Teacher, and a politically active member of my community. I am proud of who I am today, like anyone should rightfully be when they have been as blessed as I have been. Bu t although there is plenty one could write in my obituary, there is more that must be considered when the life you are examining is your own.
There was a time in my life, albeit brief, when I went by a different name. There was a time in my life when my m other, was not the woman whose passing I still mourn. There was a time in my life, when my Father was not the man who physically, sexually and emotionally abused me. There was a time in my life I was too young to remember, a time that still leaves an in delible mark on my being.
Some tell me to forget about these things; that it doesn\rquote t matter, or maybe it is simply because they cannot understand. If they too are adopted, and say it doesn't bother them, perhaps it doesn't, or perhaps they are too afraid of hurting the ones they love so they keep it hidden, or perhaps they have never allowed themselves to really consider the depths of their own experiences.
For me the answers to some parts of the "Who am I?" question are sealed away according to law. The answers to the questions of, \ldblquote whose hair do I have\rdblquote or "whose eyes look like mine" are locked in a filing cabinet in a far-away adoption agency. Indeed my own knowledge of nationality is held ransom for service fees of several hundred dollars. Even upon payment it is just to receive a transcribed, censored version of the history of my creation.
I have recently discovered that the circumstances that surrounded my adoption were of the illegal variety. Rules and laws were broken to allow in the placemen t of myself with my Adoptive parents. Strict guidelines regarding health requirements were ignored, and guidelines regarding the adoption of co-workers children by employees within the same state agency were apparently non-existant at that time or ignored. In response to my inquiries as to why this was allowed to occur, the caseworker at my adoption agency simply stated; " we weren't involved in any screening, we were brought in right before placement". The answers to who allowed this crime to be committed are sitting in some courthouse file box, held for ransom of hundreds of dollars of attorney or court costs.
Even if I were to obtain the funds to pay for the service fees, or attorney costs chances are slim that I would be allowed all of the information within the file. I would never know what had or hadn't been left out. The laws as they stand, particuarly as they affect my personal adoption, allow for the protection of criminals and unethical practitioners of adoption.
Seeing as the facts surrounding my adoption are so suspect to fraud and deceptions, it is no doubt why I often wonder,"what else have they lied to me about?" and "what else am I under misconceptions of?" The answers to these questions would quiet my mind on dark lonely nights of fleeting slumber. The answers would calm the anger that rises on days like today, when keen eyes and different perceptions bring to light the reality of truths that are kept from me. But instead, the answers are kept hidden, wrapped in secrecy and lies, by laws that seriously harm those innocent people they are intended to protect.
It is very likely, in fact highly probable, that today my own Mother sits and wonders about these same laws. When the lawyers for the agencies, and most journalists and bureaucrats talk of adoption, you often hear of "the promise" made to certain mothers that no-one would know they had placed their child for adoption. But, rarely ever do you hear the truth that the ones whom made this promise are criminals. That the promise was never guaranteeable and that the promise constituted fraud. You also never hear of the other promise that was made, the one which guaranteed the free exchange of all information. Instead, the laws once again, protect the unethical, practices of some adoption facilitators and once again, hurts the party they are supposed to protect, in this case the Birthmother's themselves. But, these truths are not know to the American public.
Much the same as my own documentation is hidden from me, the real horrors of adoption, which extend far beyond the issue of Access to Records, is also kept sealed from the eyes of the general p opulation. Baby selling and racially motivated pricing is sugar coated and made acceptable by claiming $25,000 fees for a white baby are justifiable while $5,000 will pay for the same exact services if the baby you are adopting happens to be black.
Laws exist that make adoption profiteering illegal, but with the secrecy inherent in commonly accepted practices the infringements of these laws are overlooked. In fact many feel the costs of adoption have been encouraged to rise resulting from income tax cred its offered to assist with the costs of adopting a child.
Establishing an adoption tax credit is an easy way for politicians like (now President) George W. Bush to pay back the wealthy agencies that fund and endorse their campaigns, at the expense of American Taxpayers. Sure, they can\rquote t send them a coupon, but they can offer to send the agency's customers a "rebate check" direct from the Federal Government.
This "rebate check" poses a considerable moral dilemma for me. I consider the fact that my current family budget requires me to wait yet more time before I am able to afford to pay for my nationality and other related personal information. Yet, some of my hard-earned tax dollars go back to the same agencies that are ransoming pieces of my identity. Thinking about that leaves a tumbling of my stomach and a bad taste in my mouth.
The reasons behind the tax credit are just; for these people are providing much needed care. But, I can't help to think if agencies were to stop selling babies, the tax credit would be unnecessary, and adoptees like myself, could use their money to deal with the aftereffects of the adoption . It is not right to be forced by the Government to pay for children to placed within the same system, under the same laws we currently suffer from. It is for me, morally reprehensible to pay to subject another hum an being to the effects of our current adoption laws and to the effects of being traded for profit by a third party.
Indeed most adoption agencies and facilitators are the modern day equivalent of legal slave traders and most modern adoptions are the equivalent of modern day slavery. The price for emancipat ion of the adoptee is just about enough money to buy back the personal information held by the agency. It is just enough currency to fund a legal quest for freedom from restrictions to the management of our personal lives.
Today on my Birthday I wonder, "when will I gain my emancipation?". When will I be able to answer the question, "Who am I?" Will it be when I have enough money to purchase it begging from a judge. Or will it be when I have enough money to line the pockets of the agency to obtain bits and pieces of my own history? I hope that doesn't have to be the case.
As I sit here writing my husband reminds me, there is a cake to be cut, a song to be sung, and a wish to be made. Well, in a few minutes, when my family is gathered around the kitchen table celebrating my mysterious birth, the wish I will make will be this:
That adoptees in every state across America will one day enjoy their inalienable rights to Liberty, and their right to have answered the most basic questions of human existence without compromising of their privacy, endurance of discrimination, or stripping of their wallets.
That for Millions of their families, a birthday can once again be a celebration of life, and not a mourning of freedom undelivered.
That in this, the year 2000, the dawning of a new millenium, the shackles of modern adoption laws can be broken and the dignity and humanity that is trampled be restored to millions of adoptees who today are suffering from oppression under Closed Records legislation.
That the Lawmakers in every state across the nation demand justice is served, the criminals are discoved and punished, and the adoption system is reformed to truly protect the rights of all parties involved.
I wish these things for myself and my family, but truly on behalf of all adoptees and all their family as well. I wish for the day, that no-one will ever again bear the grief of having to ask, "Is today really my Birthday?"
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