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Waiting over half a
Century...
by Gen Goad
There are no words to describe
the feeling the first time I heard the name of my mother. I held
that piece of paper for over an hour, as if it were my link with
her.
I had missed holding my Mother
by 11 years because the government saw fit to deny me that. I did
not get to tell her "I love you" or "I'm not angry
that you put me up for adoption." The only thing the state
of Missouri "allowed" was my knowing her name, date of
death and cause of death. If the searcher hadn't saw fit to tell
my sister to contact the International Soundex Reunion Registry,
I would still be sitting here holding onto my Mother's name.
However, I was luckier than most and my sister did respond, we
made a connection and the emails and photos started to fly. I had
a sister and three brothers. Two brothers and my Mother were
deceased. We asked the questions and gave the answers that most
would ask. Then we ran into a road block. My mother's sister had
been with my Mother in Kansas City when I was born. However, she
is refusing to talk.
The youngest sister knows some of the secret, but she is also
refusing to talk. I went through feelings frustration and anger.
How dare they deny me the answers? I am curious, but can live
without their secrets.
One and a half months after my initial contact with my sister, I
went to spend the weekend with her and her family. It seems that
the man who married my Mom has decided to be my Dad, and all of
his family has
welcomed me. What a surprise that was. His entire family welcomed
me and they didn't hesitate at all.
Many have asked me if I was at all concerned about meeting
someone for the first time and committing myself to staying at
their home. That was never my concern. This was my family, the
family that I never had. I
felt so comfortable talking on the phone with my sister and knew
that it would feel the same when I finally met her in person.
When my planned landed and I saw the smile on my sister's face, I
felt like I was home. I was hugged and held and smiled at all the
way to their house. There, my new Dad and my brother were waiting
for me, even though it was after 11pm.
I spent the next three days looking at pictures, seeing the
places where Mom went to school, met Pop and got married, and
enjoying the company. I fell in love with Pop immediately and his
older brother as well.
How did it feel? I felt like the hole in my heart and soul had
finally been filled. I smiled all weekend. There were no tears,
only joy. I also shed the label I carried for almost 56 years. I
am no longer an adoptee. I am a sister, a daughter, an aunt and a
niece. I know where my family came from, who I look like, who I
talk like and what my medical history is.
I have no intention of quitting the fight to open records. Every
person has the right to belong, not as a possession (which most
adoptees are considered to be) but as a part of a family, with
all it's twists and
turns. I thank God for the precious gift he has given me and I
pray that each and every adoptee, birth parent and sibling find
the completeness that I have found.
Gen
Adoptee-FOUND birth family 8/15/00
[The adoption process is a hiding place for abuse, human misery,
and
criminal activity. We must bring it out of the dark ages into the
21st
Century.]
Open Records Petition-- www.ABORN.org
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